Divorcing a Narcissist: How to Protect Your Assets and Your Peace
So, you've found yourself in the unglamorous world of divorcing a narcissist. Take a deep breath, my friend. We're about to turn this chaos into your empire.
I’m Rhonda Noordyk, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and CEO of Women’s Financial Wellness Center. My mission? To disrupt the divorce industry for women like you.
If you’re ready to gain back control of your assets and keep your inner peace intact, you’re in the right place. In this blog post, I’m sharing a step-by-step guide for strategically divorcing a covert narcissist. This is the kind your best friend would give you, offering the clarity you crave—but sprinkled with enough sass to catapult you into necessary action.
Divorcing a Narcissist Step 1: Decode your financial landscape.
Lovely, it's time to play detective. Gather those financial papers. We're about to decode the mysteries of your bank statements, investments, and whatever else your ex might be hiding. Knowledge is power, and we're here to power up.
Related: Financial Abuse in Marriage: Recognizing the Signs and How it May Impact Your Divorce
Divorcing a Covert Narcissist Step 2: Get organized.
It’s time to channel Marie Kondo—you’ll thank me later. When your financial documents are neatly organized, you’re ready to navigate any challenge that comes your way. I swear by the simplicity of this method.
When your documents are chaotic, you’re much more vulnerable to being steamrolled. Bank statements, property deeds—organize it all, and feel the knot in your stomach magically unwind.
Divorcing a Narcissist Step 3: Build your team of unapologetic advocates.
Think you just need a lawyer when divorcing a narcissist? Think again, girlfriend. While your lawyer fights the legal battles, you’re going to need a fierce advocate on the money front. Enter the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (hey, that’s me! 👋).
A CFDA® ensures your financial fortress remains unscathed—no, scratch that—100% fortified and ready to thrive post-divorce. When you’re divorcing a narcissist, a CFDA® isn’t a nice-to-have—it’s a MUST.
Not sure where to start in building your team of advocates? Inside BRIDGE™, one of the many methods I teach women like you is my CIA method. It stands for Communication, Integrity, and Advocacy. It’s no secret that I love a good acronym, and this one guides you straight to your winning team!
Related: Your Wealth, Your Rights: Tackling Wealth Bias With a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®
Divorcing a Covert Narcissist Step 4: Hire a lawyer.
Next up? Find a lawyer who champions women. Yes, they’re out there! And I don’t just mean someone who says they’ve worked on cases against narcissists before. Everyone will say that. But that doesn’t mean they’re good at developing a strategy to win against people who are—well, notoriously and impossibly difficult.
Not sure where to look? Inside BRIDGE™, I’ve got you covered with access to my exclusive directory of divorce professionals. It’s full of the best-of-the-best attorneys, mediators, and more—and they’re all vetted by yours truly. Because—let's face it—the legal system doesn't always favor us women. You need someone with a track record of pushing against the status quo.
Divorcing a Narcissist Step 5: Trust your gut.
Your intuition is your secret weapon. If something smells fishy, it probably is. Keep your cards close, spill the tea when the time is right, and protect yourself like the boss you are.
Divorcing a Covert Narcissist Step 6: Master the art of negotiation.
Society has long conditioned women to toe the line, play it safe, and be content with the status quo. We're told to stay small, be accommodating, and—for goodness sake—not to make waves. 🙄
But now is NOT the time to play by those outdated rules! Divorcing a narcissist requires a strategic mindset and a willingness to stand up for what you deserve. It's time to throw that conditioning out the window and master the art of negotiation. Here are a few quick tips to get you started on strengthening this muscle:
TIP: Know Your Worth
Recognize your true value. Understand your contributions, both in the relationship and as an individual. Know what you bring to the table, and let that knowledge fuel your negotiation. Confidence is your secret weapon.
TIP: Set Clear Boundaries
Narcissists thrive on pushing boundaries, and during a divorce, they'll try to test yours. Stand firm. Clearly define what you will and will not accept. Whether it's regarding asset division, child custody, or any other matter—having clear boundaries protects your interests.
TIP: Practice Assertiveness
Negotiation is about assertiveness, not aggression. Express your needs clearly and confidently. Your voice matters, and it's time to let it be heard.
Negotiation is your key to unlocking a fair settlement. Stand tall, be bold, and let your ex see the powerhouse that you are.
Related: Your Roadmap to Financial Clarity and a Fair Divorce Settlement
Divorcing a Narcissist Step 7: Don't sign your life away.
Narcissists play dirty. Trust me—I’ve seen it all. Let me share a real-life financial chess match to highlight the gravity of this step.
In a recent case, my client’s husband insisted he had no pension.
Oh, but I knew better…
I knew the company, and I knew they had pensions during his tenure. The attorney, however, took his word for it. The divorce was finalized, but my financial Spidey-sense tingled. It was keeping me up at night!
So, I transformed into a bit of a pain in the attorney's backside. What can I say? I needed the truth.
After insisting the attorney seek proof, it turned out the husband did indeed have a pension—a cool $120,000 worth. That pension needed a QDRO to ensure my client got her rightful share.
Now, imagine if we hadn't challenged that narrative. My client would’ve missed out on the financial security she was legally entitled to. In my book, that’s a tragedy. Women deserve better. You deserve better.
So, next time that pen hovers over the dotted line, remember this chessboard. Be strategic, question everything, and let your signature be a powerful stroke in your financial picture.
When you’re divorcing a narcissist, it's not just about securing a fair divorce settlement—it's about reclaiming your power, your peace, and your financial future.
Introducing BRIDGE™: Your Path to Securing a Fair Divorce Settlement and Beyond
I won’t sugarcoat it—divorcing a covert narcissist is no walk in the park. It's a special kind of battlefield. The emotional toll, the financial labyrinth, the constant tug-of-war—it's brutal. But when you have the right team behind you, you emerge from the storm empowered and in control. And that, my friend, is exactly where BRIDGE™ comes in. 💪
BRIDGE™ is more than a program. It's your lifeline—a transformative journey from crisis to closure in just six months.
Led by me, Rhonda Noordyk, BRIDGE™ offers expert guidance, a supportive community, and a step-by-step method to navigate the financial complexities of divorce with confidence. This 6-month program empowers you to…
♟️ Avoid common divorce mistakes,
♟️ Gain financial confidence,
♟️ And secure a fair divorce settlement
…All in one place. With 6 wisdom modules, 12 live coaching sessions, private mastermind community access, and a vetted network of divorce professionals, BRIDGE™ ensures you're not alone in this journey. Because divorcing a narcissist is something no one should have to do alone.
Let's write the next chapter of your life. And this time, it’s entirely on your terms.
Join BRIDGE™, where a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® becomes your strategic partner—offering a personalized, battle-tested strategy and unshakeable confidence in your financial decisions.